Through A Glass Darkly

I've moved to a new home at BeChurch.net

2003-12-30T16:26:00.000-08:00

I've moved to a new home at BeChurch.net

New Home!!!!

2003-11-05T10:08:00.000-08:00

Well... I just moved my blog!!! I am soo sorry for any inconvenience this causes anyone!! I just felt that the name I have here is too long and it's a pain in the butt to type out. The new site is beChurch.blogspot.com. I moved all of my posts over and everything looks pretty much the same. I just needed to get away from the million letter name!!

I really want to say sorry to anyone who already has me linked. I don't want to be a pain in the butt, but I figure it's better to do this now before I really get going than later once people actually start reading my blog.

This is going to be my last post here. I'll leave this blog going for a while so people can catch up with me, but all new stuff will be at BeChurch. Thanks Guys!

jamie

Movie Night

2003-11-05T08:49:00.000-08:00

Well... tonight is movie night. After a couple months of waiting we're going to check out the new Matrix movie. I'm curious to see how it all wraps up. I really wanted to go see it on the IMAX, but they were trying to charge us 17 bucks for tickets.

I just have to say... (although there is a huge risk of getting myself into trouble) I've never understood the people who claim the matrix as their all inclusive christian spiritual analogy (neo is jesus, trinity is the spirit, the architect is God....blah blah blah).

I have just never been able see it. The first time I saw the Matrix I couldn't help but notice the buddhist message it was preaching. (Once you realize that everything is just an illusion you can do whatever you want....)

I didn't really see the "overt" christian underpinnings that people were raving about. I kind of felt like I was listening to that 'Sweet Lord" song by George Harrison. You know the one where he mixes the Hallelujahs in with the Hare Krishnas. Same kind of thing. Yeah they use some Christian words, but the heart of the message is very different.

I just keep flashing back to the scene in reloaded where they're walking through Zion and there's a vendor who selling all these Jesus icons along side Buddha images. Hallelujah/Hare Krishna? Hmmmmm....

I hope that they clear the whole issue up in this movie, but I have a feeling that they will leave it purposefully ambiguous in that area just to keep the conversations going on long after the trilogy is done.

Who really cares though. It doesn't crush my world to know that the sci-fi movie I'm about to watch isn't a Christian allegory. I more interested in seeing Neo kick ass on Agent Smith. Maybe I'm just not very spiritual.

Le Parcour

2003-11-04T11:51:00.000-08:00

Crazy fun eurostyle!

Looking for a new sport? Why not try Le Parcour?! The sporting sensation that's taking Europe by storm (well... not really, but it's still pretty cool!)
The things that people do for fun never cease to amaze me!

Check out the videos... lot's of crazy action and hilarious hijynx.

Conversation partner

2003-11-04T10:48:00.000-08:00

Em and I decided yesterday that we are going to start being conversation partners with international students at the local college. There is such a great opportunity to be able to show these people love and acceptance. Many of them come to our county to study and end up isolated because it is very difficult for them to meet Canadian friends. I really believe this is a chance for us to make a huge different in the lives of these people.

There are way more international students than there are volunteers so there is a huge need right now. Why not give our time to relationship with these students.

One of the awesome things about the program is that it gives us an opportunity to share our lives (and faith - in a natural way) with people who have had no contact with the Gospel in the past. Many of the students are from China. It's like God has compensated for the closed doors (communist government) in that country by sending people here to us. What a great opportunity.

The other thing is that these student are often from rich or influential families (they had the $ to get here right?). These are the people who are going to be the future community leaders when they go back to their countries. Those are the people that we need to influence if we want to see real change in the world. They are going to be the ones who are making the policies and decisions.

Here's a challenge for all you people who are interested in becoming missionaries one day. Why wait to go over seas to start reaching out cross culturally? Why not find out if your local college has international students and if you can get involved. It's a chance to begin learning something about other cultures and maybe you can even make connections in the country you are interested in reaching. Man... it almost seems too good to be true, doesn't it?

Inreach Resulting in Outreach

2003-11-04T09:03:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago I had this revelation while sitting in the bath tub (yes... I'm one of those wussy guys who likes baths!).

God gave me a revelation about John 13:35
"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

I realized that the church (at least here) is extremely focussed on showing "the unchurched" how loving and nice we christians are. We do servant evangelism and community outreaches and all sorts of other things to show our community "God's love in a practical way". The problem is that we aren't very good at backing it up once people decide to become part of our faith groups. We love 'em before they believe, but what about after. Seems to me that trying to convince people that we are a loving community without really being a loving community is kind of like putting the cart before the horse

You see, what's the point in showing love to our community and convincing them that we are loving people when this is anything but reality in most churches. The majority of pastors that I have spoken to are having an extremely difficult time developing community and genuine Christian love in their churches. They struggle to get fellow christians to spend time together and love each other. How is a church that is having a difficult time loving each other ever going to effectively love people on the outside!?

The thing that God spoke to me about was putting things back into proper perspective. If we can get our acts together and really begin loving the people in our churches...the natural outflow of that love will begin affecting our communities. We'll also have something that we can feel confortable inviting people into.

People long to experience genuine love and community. People will do crazy things to find it. If we can truly demonstrate that love for each other, people outside of our churches will naturally be drawn to it. Acceptance and love is an enticing thing!

We need to bring our churches to the place where we are loving each other so much that people begin to take notice. Who wouldn't want to belong to a community where they know that their emotional, intellectual, physical, and spiritual needs will be met. Who would turn down the opportunity to be LOVED?

The hard thing is convincing people that focussing inward is sometimes the best thing to do. The church has had problems with this in the past. We have gotten so inward focussed that we have often forgotten about the mission that Christ has given the Church. This is different though. Like I said in the title. It is inreach , not for the sake of outreach, but with the result of outreach. It's not about navel gazing, it's about loving each other the way Jesus told us to. If we can figure that out, mission will naturally flow from it and people will be drawn to Christ.

Pictures?

2003-11-03T12:23:00.000-08:00

Just trying to see if I can get a picture on here.

Cool! Well.. I guess I can. The new "real" posts should be coming soon. I've been meaning to write more for the last while, but it was so hard to get into it when I couldn't figure out how to personalize my blog. Now it should be MUCH more fun.

Lots of work done!

2003-11-03T12:11:00.000-08:00

Well.. I have finally managed to figure some of this blogger stuff out. I now have comments, links, titles, new colours, new formatting, and the ability to add pictures once I figure out how to change the sizes so they fit my template.

The Ooze Follow Up

2003-11-03T09:51:00.000-08:00

The last few weeks has been pretty surreal. It's wierd having everything flipped upside down. People who were on my side are now, well... not. And people that I never thought would be in the same place as me are. Cool! It has been really wierd this week. it seems that all sorts of people that I haven't connected with in years are showing up out of the woodwork and asking me what church I'm going to. Why? It's like there's a conspiracy out there. All of these people want to talk about my church life. So strange! It was really difficult to answer at first but I am starting to get the hang of dealing with that question. I've noticed that people don't like the "I'm just worshipping with friends at my house" answer. Especially older believers. They all get freaked out and begin to act like they do when they are talking to "the unchurched" in an evengelism situation. All of a sudden we're not on the level any more. I must be backslidden... or worse....becoming an atheist!! For the first few talks I got REALLY defensive and felt that I had to give a 3 point sermon on why it's ok to worship at home...with pictures and diagrams and a proof text for each point. I've given up on that now... it doesn't work... they still don't understand. It almost makes it worse because they get the impression that something must be wrong if I am defending it as hard as I am. Not worth it!!!
A friend of mine who is doing undercover C5 missionary work in the middle east passed a message on to me this week that really made a difference. He said that if you are spending your time defending something you aren't living it. In his business it's one or the other. You either focus your energy on living your calling or on defending it. I've chosen to live it. I will let the fruit of the ministry God has for me be my defence. This was a huge help. Now when people ask what is going on I just tell them the truth and leave it at that. No more worries! God has given me the prophetic authority to walk this road, it's his job to defend it.

just some thoughts that might encourage someone else who's going through this junk!

Something I posted on the ooze

2003-11-03T09:47:00.000-08:00

Well... after years of struggling to find a church where I fit and months of frustration my wife and I have finally taken the leap. We decided to take a break from the IC. Man... this is the hardest thing I think I've ever had to do. it's almost harder than it was for me to choose to follow Jesus. It's like everything I have known for so long is falling apart. My hopes and dreams of pastoring a church...everything. I come from a church background that brings people up through relationship and eventually releases them to church plant. All of the connections I've made in organizations are kind of shot now since people think I'm wacko for even imagining that you can be a follower of Jesus without attending a "church" on sunday morning. how am I ever going to have credibility or credentials as a leader now? Even close friends of mine don't understand how I could be doing this. I don't want to have to do it, but there has to be something better out there. I can't go on the way I have. i don't want to be frustrated any more. I have tried very hard to keep myself in check and not just run when I see problems. I know that there is no such thing as the perfect church. But I also know that God has so much more for us as Christians than what most churches can offer. God has more for ME!!

I have a need in my life to belong to a loving community that will join me in my journey to knowing christ more. is that too much to ask of a church? maybe it is. maybe I'm naive and idealistic. But I know that I need to find it. Actually... I know that I need to start modeling it in my own life.

I am currently meeting with a group of friends at my house on thursday nights and we worship god, pray for each other, and talk about our faith and lives. It is going really well and i feel in my heart that this is my church. When I ask myself who I'm accountable to, who pastors me, and who i go to when I am hurting, it is the people in this group that come to my mind... not the people in my "real church". So why continue the charade. Why continue going to a church that doesn't have a part in my life except on sunday morning.

I guess I'm writing this because I am really messed up and confused. I feel like I'm doing the right thing, but at the same time I feel like I'm doing the wrong thing. I know in my heart it's ok. And I know that theologically the church isn't just a building that we go to on sunday, but it's a still hard. Am I just decieved by wicked spirits that are trying to drag me to hell like some people have told me, or am I just a hurt church person that is in rebellion. Am I allowed to be frustrated at the church. Is it ok take a step back if you think that stuff is just not working?

Back Again

2003-11-03T09:45:00.000-08:00

Well.. I have some time to post. I think I'm starting to get the hang of blogger. I think (hope) I've managed to change the font size that I had. It was a little small before and hard to read.

Well... Things are going pretty good lately. Em and I have finally left the IC. It was a hard decision for us to make, but we really had to do it. I had been throwing the thought around for quite a while, but just never had to guts to follow through. But push came to shove and we did it. We are now fellowshipping with friends at our house on thrusday nights. It's an interesting change. So much nicer.

Rather than spend an hour writing the story again I think I'll post some of my thoughts that I wrote on the ooze.

2003-08-19T08:33:00.000-07:00

Well... I'm having a really hard time with this blogging thing I just can't seem to figure it out. I think it would be much more fun if I could figure out how to edit my template and stuff and make it more personal, but I just can't figure it all out. I think I need someone to teach me, but I'm the only person that I know who blogs! I just tried to install squawkbox comments on my blog and I couldn't even figure out where to insert the macros and stuff. I never got into html and all that so I'm pretty lost. I'm praying that god would send someone to help me learn how to use this thing. Please.... help!!!!

2003-07-17T11:29:00.000-07:00

I was just thinking about how much the internet has affected my life and outlook on reality. I'm starting to see how something as simple as message boards have had a profound impact on my way of thinking and my way of relating to others and authorities. I'm finding it more and more difficult to accept articles and books that don't offer me the opportunity to talk back to the author or to share my oppinions on what has been said. It's like I feel ripped off that I can't have my say on whatever it is. I have even subconsciously began to boycott websites that don't give me the opportunity to critique the articles they have posted. I get so mad that I can't talk back.

I find it fascinating that internet culture has so inflamed my pride. It's becoming all about me! I can stand to surf places where I'm not a part of what's going on. I like blogs with comments (even though I don't know how to get them myself) I like sites with an email address to the writers so I can tell them what I think or what I disagree with, I like my opinion, my voice to be heard. I like to be able to ask questions to the person who wrote the article or essay that I am reading. I almost expect it! I sometimes feel that if you wrote it for people to read you have a responsibility to allow people to ask questions or to make coments on your logic or thoughts. (it might be wrong, but that's how I feel sometimes!)

I think this is a something that's beginning to affect our worldview today. people need their voice to be heard and need to be albe to interact with the media that they are using. It's really making me think about how this will affect our culture in the future.
-How will the need for interactivity affect the education system?
-How will this need affect literature and essays?
-How is this affecting our view of authority? Especially since we feel we should have the opportunity to critique and have our opinions heard. What happens to the idea of submission to authorities or government? Or the Law?
-How will this affect ministry and church?
-Are sermons out of date... should we move to a more interactive teaching style?
-Should we have a little comment card (whatever that looks like..email, whatever..) that people can fill out at the end of church to tell us what they liked, what sucked, questions they might have... you know... that kind of stuff.
-how would you lead and interactive church as a pastor? Would we just end up being people pleasers? Would the congregation end up doing all the leading while the pastor is pushed around like a little boat in big waves?

just some thoughts... I've been wrestling with this for a few weeks now, and I'm hoping to make sense of it pretty soon. I think it's another key in how I can reach the people that God is calling me to reach.

anyway.. I'll probably write more on this later....

jamie

2003-07-16T11:11:00.000-07:00

Well.... It's been so darn long. I wish that I could get more regular with this whole blogging thing. It's been quite insane for the last couple of months. I'm just barely managing to keep up with what I HAVE to do. I just got married four months ago and all of a sudden I'm realizing the new stresses and business that goes with that. You don't think when you're single that it will be that much different, but it really is. All of a sudden I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to support my family and all of that stuff. I've finally discovered the "worries of the world" that Paul talks about. Right now Em (my wife) isn't working so we're really relying on God to take care of us. My job pays pretty well (for someone my age and with my experience) and I have always had more than enough, but since Em has been home it's been pretty tight. God has come through so often though. About a month ago someone from my small group felt led by god to give us $1000. What's most amazing about it is that the girl who gave it to us doesn't have very much herself. It was such a blessing. The day before we got it Em prayed for $1000 so that we could stay on top of our bills.... and He came through. Just wild. It's still been rough though. Our car hasn't been starting properly and a bunch of other stuff has gone wrong with it. We've dumped a couple of grand into it in the last 3 months. I've also had to pay a fortune on dental work ( a consequence from a few years of travelling and living on the street) Not good!!

Anyway... Other than all of the junk, stuff is going alright. The gathering that we have on thursday nights is going really well. I guess you could call it a small group, but it's not really the same. We're not doing it as part of a church. I just felt that God was leading me to start a group and to gather some people up. Part of it was to help me to grow in my faith and the other part is to be a blessing to others with the gifts that God has given me. The things that have been going on have been great. One of the main focuses lately has been something I call inreach. I'll probably write something on it in the next little while. the jist of it is that we as the church spend a lot of time trying to show the world that we love them, but then we stop loving them once they become a part of the church. We're good at saying that we love people and we do lots of acts of kindness, but it seems that we're not really good at loving our brothers and sisters in the Body of Christ. God really spoke to me a few weeks ago and told me that it was important to start working on really loving each other within the church. If we can get that right, then the outreach stuff becomes easy (we have a group that people will want to join, because they will know that we are a loving community). So I've been really working on building inreach into our groups DNA. Every week we try to meet each others physical needs by asking for what we need and offering what we have. (that's why the girl in our group gave us a grand... she had it to give and she felt that we could use it) We have seen tons of money change hands and lots of cool (sometimes wierd) stuff change hands. Everything from sun tan lotion to lava lamps and shower curtains. it's really going good. I'm finding that it's really knitting us together as a group as well...expecially my focus on guerilla giving. I'm trying to pick people in the group to serve and do nice things for throughout the week. I don't always succeed at getting it done, but for the whole week that person is in my mind. By the end of the week I feel closer to that person cuz they've been the focus of my spare time. With eveyone doing this the relationships can grow a lot faster.
Ok... I'm starting to preach on this now so I'm gonna move on...

The last few weeks has been a real time of intense study for me. I naturally lean to the brainy side of things, but lately I've been sort of stuck there. It seems like every day I have a zillion new questions that I need to find answers for or there's a bunch of poeple who are asking me to explain different theological concepts to them. i really love it. this is the stuff that I live for. The only problem I'm finding right now is that I don't have very many people in my life who have the answers to some of the questions that I"m having. I can answer questions for others, and I have a really good knowledge and resource base, but some of the topics I'm trying to resolve are too tough for a lot of people including my pastors. Em is trying to set me up with some profs at a local bible school so that I can chat with them. That way I'll be able to get some of the answers that I need. I'm really excited about it. I'm always dreaming that I could have the opportunity to go to seminary, but I just can't afford it and I'm missing the required BA to get in. I wish that I could just take the courses without having to spend four years to get there. Maybe later this summer I'll be able to catch some of the lectures at regent college in vancouver. They've got some good stuff going on there.

anyway... I've got to jet, but I promis I'll try to write more often. I just noticed today that I'm mentioned on someone else's blog so I guess I have a responsibility. I don't want people showing up here on a link and not finding anything. If you're one of those people.. I'm so sorry!!!! I'll try to get my act together and write some good stuff.

jamie

2003-05-02T08:23:00.000-07:00

I had this idea while I was driving last night that maybe I should just fill my whole blog up with questions. It seems that God is always giving me these little questions that I think about for a while. I don't think I'm going to include the answers I come up with ...... just the questions. Maybe I'll start later today......
I wanted to start now, but for some reason I just can't remember thequestion I had!! :) Man..... that's bad!

2003-05-01T15:06:00.000-07:00

getting the internet at home on monday... yay!!!! I'll finally be able to post more regularly!!!

2003-04-11T11:40:00.000-07:00

Sorry about that crazy long post yesterday! I think I just got carried away!
Well.... today instead of work we are doing a professional development day. YAY!!!!! I get to spend my whole day doing true colors and myers briggs..... fun!!!!! (sarcastic? just a little....)
It seems that every professional development thing I ever do incorporates learning styles or true colors or myers briggs! I don't know what's up with that!!
Anyway... back to work... I'll write more later...

2003-04-10T10:10:00.000-07:00

Ok.... So I guess I'm going to write my first "real" post to this blog. I don't mean to start with all guns blazing or anything, but I was just reading an article on the ooze and it started my brain working. The article was about recapturing mystery in the church and also about the value of liturgy. The author talked about how she left an old stuffy liturgical church for something more "rock and roll". The liturgy thing was just getting old and it wasn't real any more. Just a bunch or words.

I didn't grow up in the church so I don't know a much about the whole super traditional liturgy thing. My experience of christian culture has mostly been in the sphere of charismatic, "relevant" church. You know... loud music, lots of fun, all the newest christian worship hits. Since I haven't experienced the liturgical worhip thing the only understanding I have of it comes from what I've managed to learn from friends who grew up in it or from articles that I've read about it. From what I've been able to gather, it seems to me that one of the reasons that people are/have been leaving this traditional worship style is that they feel that it is dead and lifeless. That the words have lost all meaning and are now, well, just words! The meaning of the liturgies and prayers has been taken away and now people just say them because that's just what you do at church.

I've heard so many people say that they are sooo happy that they are going to a new church where there is "freedom" and 'life" and they don't have to conform to an old, dead system of worship. Maybe they're right and they have found a new freedom, but for me I feel almost the opposite.

This whole "contemporary" church thing is so predictable. In the beginning when it was all new it seemed so "cutting edge" and different, but now that I've seen it from the perspective of a leader and now what goes on behind the scenes it's just as liturgical as anything else.

It seems that every week when I go to church (no matter where I go as long as it's a "contemporary" church) It's the same old thing. It's like we have a liturgy of our own. Now, it varies a little from place to place, but I think that for the most part it's all the same.

greeting, worship, speaking, end. Sometimes there's a coffee break in there and sometimes they skip the greeting, but this is pretty standard. It's just the way it flows. the part that really gets me though (apart from almost the whole thing) is the modern worship liturgy that we try to pretend doesn't exist. We pride ourselves (especially in the Vineyard or other churches like it) of having this super intense, intimate, and relevant worship. Man... it's so not true! Most of the time it's like a big christian juke box. We always sing the hits! The hippest new songs! As long as it's cool it fits into our liturgy. The worship leader will pick the songs that he/she thinks are COOL (the same ones he/she thought were cool last week) and we'll all sing along like at a campfire.

I don't know if anyone else has noticed this, but after a while the words don't mean anything anymore!!!! Especially after you've sung them a thousand times. They just become part of the tune. It's like when I listen to Radiohead or a band like that. Half the time I don't even know what the heck he's saying I just kind of make some noise that sounds like it fits. When I first became a christian it was all new and the words really touched me, but after four years of singing the same christian hits week after week the words have all just faded away into a big blur of sound.

I swear.. If I heave to sing "fall on me" one more time I'll puke!!!! It's so played out... actually... every song is so played out! It has lost all meaning! It's almost like singing period has lost all meaning. We just do it because that's what you do at church!
I think that if God ever opens the doors for me to start a church I'll get rid of the singing at least twice a month. We'll only sing every second week or maybe only once a month. That way singing will be special and will have some value. The way it is now it doesn't mean anything. We just do it for the sake of doing it! (no matter what we say in that "heart of worhip song")

I honestly think that a "contemporary" church would melt down if all of a sudden the leadership got rid of the sing along. I don't think people will be able to figure out what to do instead of singing. It would be like getting rid of communion at a church that does it every week. What would they do to fill the time!?! I think there would be chaos. Especially if you asked people to spend the time worshiping through prayer instead of music. Could you do it? I couldn't! I'd be falling asleep after like 5 minutes!!! Church attendance would start dropping week after week until all that the only people who are left are the 2 or 3 people who are actually there to spend time with God and not the intense, intimate and relevant music. The crazy thing is that I'd probably be one of the people streaming out the doors! But I don't want to be. I want to rediscover the authenticity and wonder in worship. I just wonder where I'll find it!
* imagine the chaos that it would cause if you got rid of both the music and the preaching! There would be no reason to go to church!

The reason I'm going off about this is that it seems that everyone I talk to feels the same way, but no one will speak up about it or try anything different. We're afraid of losing the people (and their tithes) and we're afraid of being bored, or uncomfortable, or maybe just alone with God and no noise. the same people who tell me that they're so happy they go to a "lively" church are also telling me that they feel the words from the songs don't mean anything anymore. Isn't that the problem they had at the stuffy litrugical church that they left? It's the same crap...different pile. I guess I'm just looking for an alternative. Do will kill the music for a while so that people unlearn the habit, or do we limit the music. Do we try new songs that no one knows every week, or maybe just songs that have crappy melodies so that no one can get into a groove and follow along. I really don't know! I"ve been wrestling with this one for a while!

2003-04-09T16:23:00.000-07:00

Ok.. so it looks like it works!!! Awesome!!!
Well... I'll start writing soon.

2003-04-09T15:47:00.000-07:00

Testing... testing....